Trust in God with all thine heart...

"I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me" (Revelation 3:20)

I write this post because my heart is so full at this time. My family and I have been through quite a lot these past couple of years. A LOT! I have tried to rely on my Lord. I really have. But at times I have found myself getting angry. Sad to admit it, but it's true. NOT ANY MORE! It has been a L.O.N.G. haul! And I am not talking about anything to do with my kids! It is all *other* family hardships. (though sometimes, those do come into play...but not what this post is about!)

Matt and I have been putting in out *effort* to do what is right. Go to church. Read scriptures. Say prayers. Have FHE. All the "norm" stuff.

Something was lacking still.

This week Matt and I have had a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING! Note this is *really* personal so I will be vague. A bit. Since we have come to this so called awakening, the blessings have been pouring in!!! But here's how it started:

We have been struggling for a WHILE with EVERYTHING pertaining to all the worldly things. Practically since the day we got married. We try. We really do. But nothing ever seems *enough*. What are we doing wrong? Why is it that it seems EVERYONE else is always receiving blessings? Why do we struggle ALL. THE. TIME.? We do what's asked of us, don't we?

No. Not really.

During some prayerful scripture study (Ensigns are considered scripture too) on Wednesday night, we had our *awakening*

What can WE give to the Lord? Tithing? Well, ya, but it was His first. Our time? Ya, but also, was His first. What can we TRULY give to the Lord that He hasn't given to us first? NOTHING! Everything He has given us, can be taken away in a blink of an eye. Everything, EXCEPT our Agency. True He gave this to us. BUT, He also PROMISED He would NEVER take it away. Everyone of us chose this plan, or we would not be here on this earth today. So with that in mind, I wanna share a quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell from the Ensign Aug 2009:

"The submission of one's will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God's altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true.The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God's will, then we are really giving something to Him"

Then Pres. Boyd K Packer has a quote from a talk given at BYU on Obedience [Dec. 7, 1971]

"Perhaps the greatest discovery of my life, without question the greatest commitment, came when finally I had the confidence in God that I would loan or yield my agency to him-without compulsion or pressure, without any duress, as a single individual alone, by myself, no counterfeiting, nothing expected other than the privilege. In a sense speaking figuratively, to take one's agency, that precious gift which the scriptures make plain is essential to life itself, and say, 'I will do as you direct,' is afterward to learn that in so doing you possess it all the more"

How wonderful is that? Yes, one of THE hardest things, is submitting to God's will instead of our own. He always respects our agency! So this is what we are *learning* to do. It is oh so hard! It is natural to think we can do it all by our selves. But oh, my friends, we can not. We have tried. And failed. Miserably. But with this knowledge, our eyes can be opened. Our hearts can finally be opened to a truth that mortality IS challenging and that it will always have the potential to bring us sorrow and frustration as well as HAPPINESS.

"ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS" (Romans 8:28)


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