I have been struggling really bad these last couple days with MASSIVE guilt! I HATE having to leave my new little baby in the hospital!! I HATE leaving my little Jack when I go see the baby in the hospital! I HATE not being able to take care of any of my kids and having to rely on others to do it! (Thanks to all, by the way) I just have this tremendous guilty feeling when ever I leave Jack to see the baby or when I leave the baby to be with Jack! I have shed MANY tears over these last few days because of this guilt. (and post pardum emotions don't help any) It has been A LOT harder than I EVER expected!!! I know I am blessed to have Joe and he is doing pretty well considering he was 6 weeks early. But I just HATE this situation!!
That's all my crying for now.
2 comments:
OH MY GOODNESS!! That new header picture about broke my heart- and brought back sad memories. It's so hard to see your new little baby that way. I'm so sorry you have to go through this- I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know and can definitely imagine the guilt you're feeling. Honestly your post pardum emotions are probably more than helping out- they're probably to blame for a lot of it. I think no matter what, you just feel that way when you feel like you can't be the mommy you want and wish you could be. You feel like every inch of you is being tugged in a different direction. Jack will get through this and I'm sure he's aware to an extent that you have to be with baby brother. I so wish I could be there to help. I miss you too and I'm keeping you in my prayers. You are probably one of -if not THE strongest person I know and it's just another time to demonstrate that. I love you tons and I know you're the best mom for your babies. Consider yourself hugged! And consider yourself given a big fat DDP! XOXO
-Yes, Jody TOTALLY made me laugh when I saw her comments! Te he!
I know it sucks their is nothing worse than going home without your baby and its harder when you have a little one at home don't feel guilty!! You are doing what is best for both and you can only do so much!!! He will be home before you know it what used to help me was thinking about the little girl next to Hunter who had been there for 3 months , But one week or 1 month seems like forever when your child is away from you!!! Your a awesome mom and don't forget it Love ya!
Post a Comment